This joke was an actual event of a friend of mine's father. He told her the story, sent it to my wife and then I altered it to this actual joke. The joke is his, the alterations are mine (which are many). All the same, enjoy!
I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my Labrador and waiting to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog... Duh! I was feeling a bit crabby. So on impulse, I told her “No, I was starting the Purina Diet again, although, I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time. I did however lose 50 pounds before awakening in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orificesand IV's in both arms.”
Her eyes about bugged out of her head.
I continued: “It is an easy, inexpensive diet and the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package says the food is nutritionally complete so I am going to try it again.”
Horrified, she asked, “Did something in the dog food poison you and that was why you ended up in the hospital?”
I said, “No… I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.”
I continued: “It is an easy, inexpensive diet and the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package says the food is nutritionally complete so I am going to try it again.”
Horrified, she asked, “Did something in the dog food poison you and that was why you ended up in the hospital?”
I said, “No… I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.”
